Lemon and lime

Sometimes I wish I could slip away for a day or two. Like, perhaps, sleep the whole time just to be to be totally unaware and indifferent with everything around you. Especially when you get tired of being the Supergirl that everybody thinks and expects of you. It can be pretty exhausting being the jill-of-all-trades, doing all that you could for everybody to be happy. Surrendering your inner peace to satisfy other people’s amity, and worst, self-gratification. And when it’s your turn to be weak and helpless, to need a warm hug or a pat on the back, they become surprised as if you are not human at all, “You are the toughest person I know, how can you not know what to do with yourself?” Or, they just ignore your plea for that single chance to be vulnerable as they are. And that leaves you perfectly alone and again, to pretend that everything is okay even if you’re dying inside just to sustain the portrait you yourself posed to the whole world… Oh well, I guess it’s my fault after all.

Sometimes I wonder how things would be if I am non-existent for a while. Will the birds outside my room chirp the same way as they do every morning? Will my cat look for me? Will I be loved a little more?