Lemon and lime

I haven’t fed you for quite some time now. I have been
either too happy to give a damn or too physically tired to recollect my
thoughts and bring them all in one piece. Now here I am, back to give you
chopsueyed reflections.

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I am running out of time. Each morning I wake up, I slash
out a day from my calendar. I barely have 3 weeks to clerkship. From April 16
onwards, I would be missing myself. I hope things and people would stay the way
they are, just the way I left them in my box, which I know is impossible. Some
would definitely change. People are actually starting to change now, including me I think.

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I really want to spend quality time with everybody at
the moment, but I simply can’t. And I am terribly sorry. As for now,
spontaneity is out of my league. If I suddenly show up on your door without
prior notice, I hope you understand and let me in.

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Two of my good friends left for Thailand few days ago. I am
not sure when I’d be seeing them again. That alone is a big change for me;
things are not what they used to be anymore. I will miss the big meals, the
days they teach me theories and physical exams, and the days I teach them
English… Indeed, time is too short for mortals who are happy.

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When I give too much effort, I end up getting hurt. When I
don’t give much, I end up hurting somebody.

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Can one be selfish and happy at the same time? I want to keep you. But if I do, I will definitely hurt you.