Naalala ko ang sinabi ng friend ko sa akin dati when he asked
me kung bakit ang tagal ko ng walang boyfriend. I just shrugged off my shoulder
and said “I don’t know.” Maybe I am too damn scared, or indifferent, or just
enjoying being single and uncommitted. He answered back with conviction,
“Someday, some guy will come up and sweep you off your feet.”
Way long after he told me that, I called him up one evening
stuttering and irritated, unable to explain why. The next day, nasabi ko rin
lang, “Somebody just swept me off my feet and took me off-guard. But I hated
it.” “Why?” “Because I am not used to this. I feel like my privacy is being
invaded without permission and worst, without him knowing. I don’t want to
break down my walls for him.” (Hindi yan ang exact words kasi hindi niyo lang
alam kung paano ako paulit-ulit na nabulol sa pag-explain ng feelings ko that
time. Para akong sirang plaka.)
Matagal din kaming hindi nakapagkwentuhan ng friend ko until
he texted me at nangumusta. I told him the guy is still existing, very
persistent kahit na ilang beses ko na siyang dine-discourage. “So what’s the
problem?” “I’m scared; he’s too good for me. Too nice. (I’m not used to being
treated like that and I’m scared I might hurt him.)” “Why not try a nice guy
for a change? Malay mo, it would work for you?”
That was our last conversation which was a few weeks ago. I
can’t wait to hear from Vin again to let him know I have been trying. I know
he’d be glad to hear my news. =)
