Lemon and lime

There are things that no matter how we try to deny its existence in our lives, we can no longer shove it away from our face. It is there, raw and undeniably poking itself out of our unwanted box. Decisions hastily made, hurtful words unmeant to be said, errand we didn’t do, relationships we didn’t save, irreconcilable conflict of interests, etc. While we hide the scratches with paint, the marks still exist albeit buried so deeply that we can pretend they are not there. And how long will we have to live with these ghosts? Up until we learn that in one way or another, we too may have a cut that somebody is trying to conceal.

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“Why do you dwell so much on sad thoughts and moments? Why not write something while ecstatic?”

“Because while I am happy, I am floating. My mind is clouded that words are not enough for me to describe my euphoric state, much more be separated from it at that moment. However, when I am sad, angry or disappointed, words easily slip out from me with spontaneity. Because I believe and am determined to forget that instance of misery, there is a need for me to put them to writing for decompression. Sooner or later when I am fine and ready, I would like to read about them not to recall the pain but to reassess myself. Was I a better person? Was I consistent with my principles then and now? If not my life, has anything changed at all after what happened?… Then, I will have to write all over again.”

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I love you, and that made all the difference.