Lemon and lime

This time, let me talk about the White and Blue, our country, and me in between.

I never thought my passion for literature would expand and change my principles, perhaps for the rest of my life, since I was accepted some time in 1998 as one of the writers of the White and Blue, the official student publication of my then university SLU. Along with the meaningful friendships I established during this time, it was the cornerstone of my persona’s formation into early adulthood.

As I started being a staff writer, my eyes were right away opened to the bitter realities of the Pinoy society. Through my assignments in different fields and our coffee/beer/gin-accompanied group discussions, I saw things in a wider perspective, met and learned from people from various walks of life. I got acquainted with the poor, the rich, the politicians, the leftists, the abortionists, the artists, etc. I walked the streets of Baguio City on political rallies, fought for my principles, boycotted against the school administration, was called for and threatened with suspension from college graduation. I learned how the government cheated on each Filipino, and how the latter loved to be deceived every time. It seems to be an endless cycle.

In one CEGP conference, I met Karl, a fellow writer from the Western Mindanao State University. We became friends and I communicated with him since then. He would write to me and tell me stories when he walked through the trails of the Abu Sayyaf captives, almost ambushed by the government militia, when Zamboanga was threatened with bombs and more kidnappings, etc. In return, I told him what we have been doing to oust the then President Erap, rallies we attended, underground news we heard. We would exchange political and personal views. Ten years since then, nothing changed from what we used to complain about. I told him I am tired of waiting that someday, corruption would lessen if not end and that the government would pay more attention to the education of millions of illiterate Filipinos. I am surprised with what Karl replied. He encouraged that I should not lose hope even after all those years. Otherwise, who would uphold the ideals if nobody no longer trusts the government?

I also met extraordinary people like Ate Audrey, who, despite the evident dangers of working for the battered women and children, and for the common tao, never ceased to advocate their causes. Individuals like them who were willing to risk their lives for people they do not even personally know. They do not have cars, no fancy jewelries, not even a fixed income to feed their families. Just their innate desire to serve.

While I was forming my own identity as I became a young adult, I was encircled by different personalities owing to my exposure with W&B. Experience taught me to choose who and what to believe, and to stand up to these beliefs. It is perhaps why I have been branded with this strong face and a likewise sturdy character. People like Karl and Ate Audz continue to inspire me to become better in what I do. I may not be rallying the streets anymore nor writing anti-government editorials, as I told Karl, but something still pushes me to fight for better governance. An excellent means perhaps, in my own little ways, is to serve my patients diligently and honestly.

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It has been years since I saw my former colleagues in that well-feared and talked about campus publication. The last time I sat with them was exactly 4 years ago before I enrolled in Medicine, and I remember most the sharing about the good books we have read, the comments of then latest edition of the Kuwaderno (the literary folio of W&B which is published yearly), and what Denden had been doing working with the Americans. We, of course, talked (a little) about politics and relationships. These things I miss doing with the people who never knew their contribution to my formation.

I was not one of the paper’s hot-shot writers, I never met deadlines, I did not belong to any core group, or may not even be remembered as an editor. I may not have affected them, but they affected me. W&B has helped me a great deal in maturing, more than anybody from the organization has known. 

I guess this is what Ate Midori, my former Editor, had been telling me about. And it has not stopped burning inside me after all - the White and Blue legacy.