Lemon and lime

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

Ooooh…

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking ’round
Thinking I’m going crazy

Oooh, yahhh

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Oooh, oooh…

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal
Is to keep me from falling

Hey, yeah!

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy
Maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the pain
That I keep all closed in
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Yes, you!

Would you like to count the night stars with me?

Hindi lang ako puro lablablab. Kaya ko din mag-isa: manood ng Piolo at Angel movie, kumain sa Max’s, magbeach, maglaba, magluto, maglinis ng CR, mag-shopping, maligo, at marami pang iba! *kindat* etchos!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pakibalik si Pepay please, kung sino man ang nakapulot sa kanya. Sobrang namimiss ko na siya. Isa siyang pusang kalye na inalagaan ko, pinalaki, pinaanak at pinuno ng sobrang pagmamahal. Ipa-ransom mo na lang sa akin. (Pepay is my white cat with a brown tail. She has blue right eye and olive green left eye. Refer to previous blogs (Good Mourning, October 2007) and photos for reference.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Madalas akong malungkot lately, pero malaki ang pagpapasalamat ko sa cute at hindi cute na mga pasyente ko sa Pedia ward pati na rin ang ibang magulang na nagpapakulay ng araw ko.

Isa na dito si Mrs. Cortez na nanay ni Love Kim (na hanggang ngayon ay di pa gumagaling sa kanyang meningitis) na nagfi-feeling doctor at mas marunong pa sa amin kasi tinuruan niya akong habaan pa ang pasensya ko sa araw-araw na nakikita ko siya. Hindi lang sa kanya kundi sa lahat ng bagay.

Si Mr. and Mrs. Padilla na nagtiis sa anak nilang si Kyla na nung dumating ay mukha talagang hindi na magtatagal. Namatay na halos lahat ng katabi ng anak nila sa ICU pero hindi sila nawalan ng pag-asa. Nagtiyaga silang mag-ambubag magdamag, maghanap ng pera panggastos, at naging counsellor pa ng ibang magulang na ayaw nang lumaban. Huling balita ko ay nakauwi si Kyla ng buhay na buhay. (Lumipat na kasi ako ng ward kaya hindi na ako nakapagpaalam sa kanila.) Sila ang gusto kong makita bago man lang ako matapos sa Pedia.

Si Mitchie Abuan na may congenital heart disease. Shy type siya pero napaka-cooperative kapag ini-examine ko, at sa nanay niyang laging nagte-thank you.Sana tumagal pa siya…

Si patient H (hindi ko na babanggitin ang pangalan for confidentiality) na hindi pala tunay na anak ng “tatay” niyang nagdala sa kanya sa hospital. Anak pala siya sa iba ng nanay niyang nangaliwa habang nasa abroad ang asawang seaman. Kahit na tinawag niya akong “Panget!” in one of her tantrum moments, mahaba ang pasensya ko sa kanya out of great respect kay Mr. H na hindi mo mahahalatang hindi niya kadugo dahil sa sobrang pag-asikaso sa kanya. Saan ka pa ba makakahanap ng ganoong lalake ngayon na ganun na lang ang pagmamahal niya sa asawa niya? Wala! Nagpaburger pa siya bago umalis, saan ka pa? (Kinantiyawan ko kasi ng “Burger! Burger! Burger!”)

Kay Mrs. Sabado na rin na laging sexy ang damit sa ward, halos mag-lingerie na nga siya! Mas lalo akong nagka-urge magpapayat. Natouch pako nung sinabihan ako ng “Welcome back, doctora! Matagal kitang hindi nakita ah!” pagbalik ko matapos akong magkasakit ng 3 araw. Isama na natin si Mr. Sabado na aaminin ko eh guapo. Mabait siguro talaga si Mrs. Sabado, at magaling!Hehehe…bastos.

Heto pa ang dalawang nagbigay sa akin ng pag-asa, sina Mr. (25 years old) at Mrs. (42 years old) Manzano. Malamang nasa kindergarten pa lang ang mapapangasawa ko in the future!

Kahit na Pediatrics ang pinakatoxic at pinaka-nagbigay ng unnecessary sacrifices sa akin, madami ring magagandang nangyari sa akin, in fairness. Lalo na sa mga bata at magulang na nagpapangiti sa akin araw-araw ng hindi nila alam… *hikbi*

SOS! Decompression stat! My love will splat all over the place! (yuck, korni..)

With each drop of tear you waste on something unworthy to cry for, you add more remorse into your heart until it fills you entirely. The more you push it inside you, the more difficult it is to detach it from your system later on. Soon, when somebody worthy to spend your life with comes along and finds there is no more space for him, by the time you were done cleaning the old garbage, he has become impatient from waiting ‘til you were ready. So stop crying. Quit moping over the same awful feeling over and over again. Instead, prepare yourself for that very special person who would love you the way you are, no matter how many trash you have cleaned from your past. Let the beauty of your soul radiate from within you because that is what will invite more wonderful things to complete your being. Before you know it, somebody already claimed he has finally found the best person for him. And that was YOU.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

No matter how convincing your claims are, actions will never lie.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Who does not miss the feeling of being loved? Truly, madly and deeply loved?

” One day, somebody will sweep you off your feet and will love you unselfishly. This time, ikaw ang magugulat sa sobrang love na ibibigay sa’yo. Tipong hindi siya mabubuhay pag nawala ka!”

” You exude confidence… You will become a good doctor…”

” Doctora… Burger! Burger! Burger! hehehe…”

” There’s nothing wrong in making mistakes. What’s wrong is letting it stay as a mistake without the effort of making it right.”

” Han mon saludsuden bf ni Tita, pirmi heartbroken dayta.”

“ Bakit ngayong ka lang… Bakit ngayon kung kelan ang aking puso’y meron ng laman…”

” I still do love you Baby…”

I am loving for the sake of love.

I know I am not enough for you. I know I should be more, thus the struggle to be better; a worthy lover to a point. I have searched for the possibilities, twisted the remorse into something beautiful, believed in what may be a pretense that this is what I deserve. My core has been wringed to the fullest, and yet you wanted more. My life, perhaps?

I am exhausted and bleeding, but I never stopped trying to be THE one for you. Hoping that one day, fervently praying, you would notice that I have been the sun shining brightly on you each and every morning. And you would want nothing else to fill your day but me. I could never wish for anything than that moment.

I surrender. Loving you has been the most difficult challenge God has bestowed me.

she runs free and the sun in my sky

but she comes to me when she`s got nowhere to hide

she tried to leave once but she didn`t

instead came crying my shoulder her head

i count the seconds that she isnt around

every single minute is a new treasure found

oh she`s my angel s

he`s my moments of joy

she`s my baby

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love la la la la

in the middle of the night i feel her holding me tight

face to face in between yea

thats asleep in the night

never enough blanket

but to me its alright she can have it,

she can have it all

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love la la la la

she`s the sun in my sky

no i swear i wont shine without her

in the light of the moon

no i cant help but swoon theres something about her

forgive me if i go on and on about her charm

something about her i dont know

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love

she`s my love love love love la la la la

-Gabe Bondoc

…Not everyone has the courage to confront their own dream.

Why?

There are four obstacles. First: they are told from childhood onwards that everything they want to do is impossible. They grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when their Personal Legend is so deeply buried in their soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.

If they have the courage to disinter their dream, they are then faced by the second obstacle: love. They know what they want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around them by abandoning everything in order to pursue their dream. They do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent them going forwards. They do not realize that those who genuinely wish them well want them to be happy and are prepared to accompany them on that journey.

Once they have accepted that love is a stimulus, they come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats they will meet on the path. Anyone who fights for their dream, suffers far more when it doesn’t work out, because they cannot fall back on the old excuse: "Oh, well, I didn’t really want it anyway." They do want it and know that they have staked everything on it and that the path of the Personal Legend is no easier than any other path, except that their whole heart is in this journey. Then, the warrior of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in his favour, even though he may not understand how…

… Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said: ‘each man kills the thing he loves’. And it’s true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their Personal Legend was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal - when it was only a step away…

- Paulo Coelho on The Alchemist